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Delivery.

Writer's picture: Tanner BuchananTanner Buchanan



If you're like me, you put a great deal of emphasis on your delivery when giving a verbal message. I do this because I know that someone listening to what I am saying is more important than what I am actually saying. (That may be confusing as a read, but stick with me.)


It was one of my first times with a new connection group for church. I grew up going to church and had been in an intimate personal relationship with Jesus for about 10 years at the time. The people in this group didn't know a lot about my background in church, and the newcomer who shared that he just started following Jesus that summer certainly didn't know who I was. I talked to him after group for a while and I was constantly annoyed with his delivery. Everything he had to say, he wanted to tell me how it was. All I could think was, "Dude, I don't know you. You said like 20 minutes ago that you just started following Jesus this summer. I've been at it for 10 years. Quit trying to tell me what I need to know." Reality check: my humility was not present in that moment - I was being extremely arrogant and honestly hypocritical of my faith. (I'm not perfect.) But more importantly, in his defense, I likely missed out on some important information. I called my mom that night and shared what happened. She said he was probably just excited to be around other men his age following Jesus, and knowing that same person more deeply now - that was the case. Mom was right. Thinking back, he made some great points.


Where I work, my co-worker (now friend) Steve and I park next to each other every day, and we almost always end up talking about random things in the parking lot for about an hour after work. I never get to share much. Steve usually does all the talking and I do all of the listening. This week, conversation has been about his boat. I'm pretty sure I have heard the whole life story of his twenty some year old boat in the last three days. That's a lot of history for one boat. It's typically just him sharing with me all of the things he has done to it and how he did them, then what he plans to do to it and how he is going to do it. I could probably build a boat from scratch with all of the knowledge of the things he has shared with me. The funny thing though, is that I LOVE listening to Steve's stories, and they really aren't even stories.


How do these stories relate? They share the importance of delivery.


To be clear, I don't mean delivery as in how well it is communicated, but rather how it is communicated. Think about delivery in this sense like packages being delivered to someone's home. The first package is something they needed and ordered from the internet. The package arrives and they know what's in it and they receive it because they needed it and asked for it. The second package is a birthday present from a friend. This package was sent without a request from the recipient and they will only know what's in it if they decide to open it. Better yet, it's even cooler when it ends up being just what they have been needing! The first package is like telling; it was asked for and given. The second is like sharing; not asked for, but given, and could be useful. Are we communicating by sharing or telling? Sharing says, "I don't know if you know this, but here it is." Telling says, "I know this and you don't, so listen up."


If it's not asked for, it must be shared. So, if it isn't asked for, share it. Don't tell it.


I think that often times, when we get the opportunity to give someone our input, everything about our demeanor changes, and demeanor delivers. In fact, demeanor is often the initial delivery. Good demeanor leads to successful delivery. So how do we communicate demeanor? My suggestion: have the attitude that they might already know. I think it all boils down to that. That's the safe bet. They might know. If they don't know, they will ask more; if they do know, they will appreciate you not telling them what they already know.


Delivery is important and demeanor delivers. Demeanor comes from our attitude, so have the attitude that they might already know. If it isn't asked for, share it. Don't tell it.










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2 Comments


William Buchanan
William Buchanan
Jun 26, 2022

A pretty simple concept...yet so many people struggle with it. I often have to remind myself it's important to think about HOW I want to say something before I "share" it. Good perspective Tanner!!

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malloree_buchanan
malloree_buchanan
Jun 25, 2022

I love seeing God at work in you Tanner! Never stop growing! LYSM! ❤️

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