Start again.

After some consideration and a lot of people much wiser than me advising me so, I have decided to try to start blogging again more regularly. Thankfully, it's not my first time starting again. Unfortunately, that means I know the challenges that come with starting again.

As you know if you've read my blogs, I used to play soccer. I'm not sure if I've ever outlined the extent to which I played, but to give you an idea, I didn't just 'play soccer'. It was my life, and usually when people say that the idea that comes to my mind is, "Oh, you played in high school and were alright." And yes, that's partly my case, but I was also the kid that had the dream of playing professionally and knew that it would take work. I had a strong 'why' and with it came lots of discipline. I practiced a lot of days in the morning before school, then went to practice after school, then practiced after practice. When I would run sprints by myself, I would say to myself, "I need to do 5" and after the 5th one, I would think, "ANYONE could do 5, I need to be able to do 6." So, I would do 6. And then I would think, "ANYONE who wants to play pro is going to do 6, I need to do 7." So, I would do 7. And then, you guessed it, "ANYONE who is GOING to play pro is going to do 7. I need to do 8!" So, I would run my 8th sprint. And then I felt like that was enough. And, that was a frequent occurrence for me.

Somewhere along the way with soccer I lost that extremely powerful 'why' behind my purpose for pushing myself so hard. I stopped working out and got less and less disciplined. Before long, my attitude for college soccer was the exact attitude that so much frustrated me with my teammates in high school. I just went to practice once a day and called it good. Eventually, I didn't really have a reason for playing soccer other than that I liked to play, and I didn't really even like to play with the team I was on. So, I stopped. I didn't practice, I didn't run, I didn't lift. Those were all things that I had always had a strong 'why' to do, and I no longer had that reason to do them.

Earlier this year, I was pretty fed up with feeling out of shape and lazy. I was used to being able to run for hours playing soccer and running sprints and not getting tired, and now I could hardly run a mile without feeling sick. So, like any person with a little bit of ambition would, I set out to run a mile every day. And I didn't.

A few weeks later, I once again set out to run a mile every day. And I didn't.

Starting again is hard. When my reasoning used to have a strongly compelled 'why' behind every effort, it was easy to just do it. But, without that 'why' in place anymore, it can be difficult to start again.

About a month and a half ago, I asked my roommate to hold me accountable to running a mile and reading my bible every morning. If I don't do it, I lose my phone for the day. More importantly though, here is what I've learned:

It's NEVER too late to start again, but it WILL be just as difficult as it sounds.

Running a mile used to be mindless work for me. Each morning when I run now, I get about an eighth of a mile down the street and I'm instantly at war with myself. My body is giving me every sign possible to just walk and give it up, but my brain just says keep going. Each day it has gotten a little easier to run my mile. I'm not setting any records by any means, but I definitely feel a lot better about my fitness lately.

Whatever you have stopped and are wishing you'd start again, just do it. It's not too late, but don't be discouraged when it's just as hard as it sounds.